Sunday, October 30, 2011

A Sunday update

Wow--it is crazy how much time can fly and I haven't blogged a thing! Not that life is all that exciting here, but I do have lots of little and big stories that I have been meaning to blog about--some of them for months. It is just like all the other things that have piled up in the last 9 months. I just don't have the time or energy to do it!

So many people ask me how Steven is doing, and I never quite know what they want to know. Physically? He's feeling great. He still has the runny nose that he has dealt with since chemo first started. I'm a little worried it will never go away. He is so much stronger and has much more endurance. His eyebrows and eyelashes are starting to grow in. That added to his pink color makes him look really good. He is still far away from walking. I will have to post more on that later, but he is making progress and it is coming along much faster now that he is off the chemo.

Sometimes I wonder if they are asking about the emotional side of it. I get the feeling they are hinting about the backwards foot. Well, he doesn't seem to care one bit about that. Every once in a while he will make a comment that reminds me that he is very aware that he is different, but those are few and far between and he doesn't let that hold him back from things. Not being able to walk and run with the other kids is the hardest thing emotionally for him, but that shouldn't be a permanent thing. With his new found energy, he is really finding ways to compensate anyway. The other day when I picked him up from school, he was so excited because he had blocked 3 goals in soccer. (Okay, so two were with his crutches, but still!)

I've had many moments where I just think "yes, my Steven is back." We only expect him to get better every day, so things are good. He will get his port out on Thursday and that will be the real end of all things chemo. We are excited for sure.

But even still, life is super busy. I guess that is normal with four little ones, but even more so since we are kind of picking up the pieces of our life. We have let so many things go in the last year. It is really overwhelming to try to figure out what is important and what we need to spend our time doing. For a month, I have had a goal to write a list of all the things I need to do, but even that seems too overwhelming and I haven't done it.

So, as inefficient as it is, I am taking each day one at a time and doing what is necessary to get by. That is how I've been living since this started and I've dreamt of the day when I could get a routine and move forward with things. But perhaps moving forward isn't really as important as I think it is. Maybe one of the lessons I'm supposed to learn from this is how to enjoy life no matter how many dishes are in the sink or how many papers are piled on the counter. I am getting better at that, so I guess I am making progress afterall!


  1. Great post Sonja. I enjoyed your insight. Thanks for the update.

  2. Sounds to me like you've got it figured out!

  3. A friend on chemo said that the chemo wipes out your nasal cilia and that's why the drippy noses. Interesting.

  4. I love this post, Sonja. Thanks for sharing your journey. So happy for you all that chemo is over. So happy for Alisa's clean scans too! Happy holidays, we will continue praying for you from MD!!!