Siblings

So, things are going fairly well this round. Steven threw up only once that first day and was feeling better by yesterday afternoon. He is clearing a bit slower than he would six months ago, but not as slow as the last round. It is hard to say if he will tomorrow or Friday. He has been extra tired and waking him up at night has been really hard.

Yesterday, Andrew and Rob came up in the evening for a visit. The kids all love to visit the hospital. I think it has something to do with the lenient video gaming that goes on. That reminds me of a conversation I had with Andrew where I asked him if he thought Steven was really lucky to get all the extra privileges that come with cancer. He said, "No. I'd rather not have cancer and not get all that stuff." Now I'm going off on a tangent, but it made me think of when my sister was first diagnosed with cancer. I had spent way too much of my life feeling jealous of her, but suddenly all of my jealousy dissolved away and I haven't felt an ounce of envy since. I only feel love and hope when I think of her and any of my siblings, and occasionaly regret that I ever had negative emotions. I am annoyed it took cancer to bring that change of heart.



My sister brought the girls up to visit this morning. They were darling, but didn't want to leave me. I ended up bringing them home for a nap. They are still sleeping, but I couldn't relax. I feel so terribly divided when my kids are all split up. I decided to blog about the hospital since I'm not there. Go figure.



Steven is spending his time alternately reading a book and playing video games. He is determined to take advantage of his last few rounds of chemo and have a Mario marathon. He has kept his leg on much of the time he has been in the hospital. Yesterday I had to make him take it off an hour before bedtime. I couldn't figure out why he wanted it on--he mostly just sits around in the hospital. He said, "It just makes me feel more normal with it on." It made me cry.