Friday, January 9, 2015
3 years post treatment
Getting scans near your birthday is a bit risky, but I scheduled Steven's for today without thinking. Thankfully, they looked good, and we are thrilled. Each one he passes, I just feel a bit more secure that the cancer is gone for good. It's true and it's not true--I watched cancer sneak up on my little sister just when she was done with scans and done with worry. But still, even if we are biding time, at the very least we have six more glorious months without cancer fear.
That is, cancer fear for Steven. All week I've been a nervous wreck. Alisa had scans also this week and learned that her cancer is growing despite the treatment she has been taking. It is a devastating blow and the combination of scanxiety for both of them and bad news for her has been rough. But nothing compared to what she is going through.
Yikes. Cancer, I hate it. For me it inspires fear like almost nothing else can. And sometimes the fear is crippling. I think it is part of my challenge to go forward and overcome this fear and go forward with faith that things will somehow work out. That is a whole lot easier to write than to do.