Summertime

Summer has been a whirlwind of activity around here--I don't get to laze around much, but when I do it turns out that I don't blog. 

I can't believe that summer is almost over for us.  We have a few precious weeks left and we will use one of them for a camping trip.   We have almost accomplished all the things on the summer bucket list but the one thing we haven't done enough of is nothing at all.   We just haven't had time to be bored. 

I did something I never thought I would--I sent the boys to a week long summer camp.  It's called Camp Hobe and it is for cancer kids and their siblings.   I just felt really good about sending them and it turned out well--they had an absolute blast.  Steven even wrote me a letter from camp....something along the lines of "you were right about the pranking, Mom.   We are in prank war with cabin 10.  The food is awesome."   Steven was the only amputee there but his counselors said that nothing slowed him down.

We've been busy with scout camps and cousins and water fights and dog walks and crafts and piano lessons and play dates and parks.   It's been a great summer.  Steven's prosthetic has the wear and tear and dirt to prove it.   It will be kind of hard to send them all to school in the fall.

It is quiet days like Sundays when I am still that I get sad about Daniel.  The other days are so full, I come to the end of the day and find myself totally spent.  But Sundays are different and I wouldn't have them otherwise.  I like to think about things and try to make sense of them and remember.  The pain is less sharp and less often and sometimes feels a little like longing.  I keep trying to envision myself sending the kids off to school and me being here alone.  It's a difficult exercise--maybe because I didn't intend for it to happen this way or maybe because it feels too lonely.   But it is coming right up and so ready or not, it will be me and the dog here in the mornings. 

But for now I am trying to just take each day one at a time--school will be here before we know it, but hopefully that will just make the next few days even more precious.