Saturday, January 21, 2012

I. Hate. Cancer.

If I haven't officially declared my passionate dislike of cancer, let it officially be known. It is a complicated feeling because yes, I realize that there are worse things and yes, there is a lot of growth that comes from suffering. I am just tired of watching people I love go through this kind of refining. If you haven't heard, my little sister, Alisa, had scans this week which revealed cancer in numerous places, including her liver and bones. Thankfully it is not in her brain and thankfully there are several treatment options for stage IV melanoma that she can try, all of which offer some hope. There is a link to her blog on my sidebar if you want more details.

I don't really have anything insightful to say and I even feel at a loss for words and action when it comes to her. She has been so proactive this last year, always doing, saying, or organizing exactly what we need. And then when it is her turn I, who am the only family member with firsthand cancer experience and one of the people closest to her, can't even get out of bed in the morning. Kind of goes to show just how weak I really am.

I thought I realized how much I love her, but these last few days, it has hit me with an unexpected force how important she is to me. She was born just 18 months after me and I would say there is probably no one else on earth who understands me better. But this isn't about me. What I need now are prayers for my sister. I am praying for her to have the strength to face the hard treatments she is facing, and I am also praying that the treatments will work.


  1. You are not weak! You are human and yes, cancer sucks! I wondered how you would handle this horrible news. I don't know how your entire family can handle so much. It must be super hard for you since you are still trying to heal from Steven's very difficult year. I will continue to pray for all of you. Be patient and loving with yourself, your sister is blessed to have you in her life and I'm sure she can feel your love. Hang in there.

    We've been praying and crying for her this week. We'll continue to pray and I am very sorry I didn't hug you on Thursday. (I'm starting a cold and didn't want you to take home my germs.)
    Love you!

  3. We are all praying with you, and Sonja, I know that when Alisa needs you most, you will be there. You're a wonderful sister. Cancer really is the worst.

  4. You are not weak. A love for a sister is a strong kind of love, I know! I will keep you all in my prayers.

  5. So sorry to hear about Alisa. You'll know what to do when she needs it. Praying for you and your family.

    1. Truly you are not weak, and I hate cancer too.

  6. This is such a sweet post. I just keep seeing that pathetic scene from Sense and Sensibilliy when I think about us. "Don't leave me!" I can't leave you, I won't!