Party time

Life has come at me fast, that is for sure. I am trying to take it slow, but because I have put off so many things for so long, it is really hard to do. Steven has been at school all week, with the exception of a PT appointment. He seems totally exhausted. I can blog more about that later, but for now, here are some pictures from the party on Monday. (I only took a few and most were out of focus, oh well.)

It was a huge success--most of the kids in Steven's class came, many of them with their families. Rob and I both come from big families and most of our siblings and neices and nephews were there, plus many of our other friends came. There was no exact head count, but we went through 100 hamburgers and 120 hot dogs. It was great to see so many people come and support Steven. I only wish I could have visited longer with everyone!

Thanks to my awesome brother-in-law and his mom for grilling for almost two straight hours!


Here is Steven with a couple of friends from school.


Some friends of ours got him a trophy--he LOVES it! It has "Team Steven" at the top and "Chemo Cup of Courage" at the bottom.


Alton shaved his head to show his support for Steven. Now is hair growing contest time. Bring it on!


We had a really nice time and are so grateful to our families who put the party on for Steven. He has been awfully grumpy at home this week, and this was the one time we saw some real smiles all week. I hope the memory will shine even brighter for him. I know it will be a good one for me. I took the girls to the farm for a picnic today and we sat in the same pavillion--I felt loved just being there and remembering.

Bell time!

Steven's last few days at the hospital were fairly eventful. He had lots of visitors--two of the visitors he had been looking forward to for a while. First of all, his cousin James had long wanted to skip a little school to come and "babysit" Steven in the hospital. On Friday he got his wish while Alisa and I headed off to do a bit of shopping.



On Friday night, my brother, Matt, came and had a sleep over and let Rob and I off the hook. They stayed up late playing board games and video games and eating pizza. My brother, Mike, showed up for the party, too. Steven was in heaven.



Saturday morning was a big day--DISCHARGE! First, the nurses all sang to him "Happy Last Chemo!"



Then it was time to ring the bell.





Steven rang it and truly it brought tears to our eyes. One of these days, if I can muster up the energy, I'll post the video of him ringing it.



Goodbye hospital! I know we will be back, but hopefully not for any more chemotherapy.

I have a lot on my mind as we finish this up. I got home yesterday and part of me wanted to crawl into bed and sleep until 2012. I feel like I have run an emotional marathon and now it is time to crash. On the other hand, part of me wanted to start cleaning out my drawers and cupboards and catching up on our budget. In the end, I did neither. I wandered around kind of aimlessly. In fact, our suitcases are still packed. Go figure.

I am very happy to be done, but also apprehensive about all that lies ahead. I think it would have been the most glorious day of my life if I knew for sure that we would never be back and we could just walk back into our old life. But in many ways, this is just the beginning of a journey on a whole new path. Steven has to learn how to walk and we all have to learn how to live with uncertainty.

But even with my hesitations, I can see how leaving the hospital is a really really good thing. Steven will feel so much better and that will help him make progress. Having our family together and back into some of our old routines is going to help us all, too. So it truly is a reason to celebrate!

(P.S. Speaking of celebrations, don't forget that everyone is invited to Wheeler Farm Monday night for a family night party. Dinner, games, and fun all provided. Come anytime between 5:30 and 7:30. We'd love to have anyone who wants to join us!)

Home!

I'll post more later, but thought I'd give an update: Steven cleared his methotrexate this morning and we came home around lunchtime. Yipee!

Top 10 lists

Top 10 things I will not miss about the hospital:

10. The cafeteria smells, especially in the morning
9. The parent shower
8. Super frequent packing and unpacking
7. Constant hand sanitizing
6. The parent "bed"
5. Fear of hospital germs
4. Nurse interrupted nights
3. Hearing babies cry down the hall or code blues on the PA system
2. Being apart from the rest of my family
1. Watching Steven feel miserable

Top 10 things I will miss about going to the hospital:

10. The beautiful views from the windows
9. Housekeeping!
8. Lots of time to think or read or waste time on the internet
7. Unlimited pebbled ice
6. Room service!
5. Pastry deliveries from my dad
4. Meeting and visiting with parents who are in similar situations
3. Spending time with Steven, a captive audience
2. The feeling we are actively killing cancer cells
1. The wonderful doctors, nurses and staff that have taken care of Steven so well

For Steven's last round of chemo, the pump says it all for me:



By chance did you hear my big sigh of relief coming from the hospital last night?

So far, Steven's last round of chemo has gone smoothly. Although he felt nauseated, he didn't even throw up this time around, which is unusual for him. We are feeling so happy that this is it for him. He'll be at the hospital until his blood clears the chemo, which will hopefully happen sometime Saturday.

One last time

At 4:00 this afternoon, I finally got Steven's lab results and confirmation that he is indeed going in tomorrow for round 18 of chemo--his very last round!

I spent the day motivating Steven to do homework and physical therapy, doing laundry and dishes, etc. I kept debating with myself about whether or not to pack. I have some sort of superstition that if I pack, he'll get delayed. So here it is, 10:30, and I still haven't packed. I started on my child care plans about an hour ago.

But just as I heard the great news, Andrew got home from school and it was pumpkin painting time. Someone left us a fun surprise on our doorstep last night including pumpkins for each of us and paint and although Laura wanted to paint them when she woke up, I made her wait until Drew came home from school. So instead of packing, we painted. And after that and dinner, we headed to the library.





I can hardly believe I am almost to the point where I can put the suitcases away and be done with the packing. We were talking about what the girls are doing this round during dinner and I mentioned sleeping over at grandma's. Steven thought that sounded like a lot of fun and Addie said, "When this is over, I don't want to have any more sleepovers without you, Mom."

Poor thing! We are all at our limits--physically and mentally. Being done will truly be a reason to celebrate.

Speaking of celebrations, we felt like the end of treatment was a pretty good reason to party and so our families are hosting one. Everyone's invited, bring your families--

A cancer documentary

Some nights as I fall asleep, I think of all the blog posts that I haven't mustered the energy to write. I tell myself, one of these weeks, I'm going to do a marathon and catch up with all the things I need to write down, mostly for my own memories.

Here is a post I've been meaning to put up for a while now. Some of you may know that my family puts on a film festival every year around Labor day. Lots of the videos are funny, but our entry this year was not very humorous. We just had to do a cancer video--afterall, cancer is defining us these days. We decided to have the kids narrate a documentary of our year. We had over two hours of footage that we edited down to this. (And when I say we, I mean Rob.) It didn't turn out exactly as I had envisioned it--but here it is.